skylarduquette:

"no" is too serious

"nope" is too casual

"nah" is just right

"Did you kill this man?" "Nah"

(Source: bound2014)

(Source: lowtus)

When my boyfriend doesn’t want to snuggle me

whatshouldwecallme:

imageimage


10knotes:

Featured on a 1000Notes.com blog

(Source: buzzfeed)

ho-ho-my-lad:

brobecks:

i like wearing lipstick because you leave marks on literally everything omg. kiss a boy’s cheek? my boy now. drink out of a cup? my cup forever. don’t even think about having coffee out of that thing. it’s like marking your territory

10knotes:

My roommate thought it was a real horse.

i have to admit so did i for a second there

Featured on a 1000Notes.com blog

dogshaming:

A pug with no apologies

On my morning walk, I peed on my brother’s head. Then I treated myself to a hot dog bun I found on the sidewalk.

malijuanastyles:

All these 9 year olds 6 year olds 4 year olds going to $350 1D meet and greets jesus christ my parents would never at that age????? They would smack me around with a 1D poster and call it a meet and beat


(Source: iraffiruse)


cassbones:

Good reminder that every expert started out as an amateur

(Source: )

(Source: matthew-landry)

When you rearrange the letters in the word ‘ASTRONOMER’, you get ‘MOON STARER’.

theepichumor:

Same goes for DESPERATION = A ROPE ENDS IT,

THE EYES = THEY SEE,

THE MORSE CODE = HERE COME DOTS,

DORMITORY = DIRTY ROOM,

SLOT MACHINES = CASH LOST IN ME,

ELECTION RESULTS = LIES - LET’S RECOUNT,

SNOOZE ALARMS = ALAS! NO MORE Z’S

THE EARTHQUAKES = THAT QUEER SHAKE,

ELEVEN PLUS TWO = TWELVE PLUS ONE

and

MOTHER-IN-LAW = WOMAN HITLER.

image

WAIT BUT THIS IS MY FAVORITE ONE:

HOLMES AND WATSON = WOMANLESS AND HOT

(Source: karpitol)


quentintortellini:

monster—zero:

building-an-unstoppable-fist:

forever21jumpstreet:

speroni-baloney:

crazyfilipino:

that gif is so usefUL 

there are lots of…things happening in florida lately

Y’all done fucked around and rolled a 3 in Jumanji

(Source: m45c)


getamongst-it:

quixon:

Tracklist:

  • Intro: State of the Hip-Hop Union Address
  • Track 1: How Do My Presidential Balls Taste?
  • Track 2: Obamacare For Ya Mama
  • Track 3: Vetoing The Pussy feat: The First Lady
  • Track 4: Rock the Vote After I Rock Ya Headboard
  • Track 5: I Got the CIA Fucking With Me
  • Track 6: White House Sanctioned Murder feat: Wild Joe Biden
  • Track 7: Government Lockdown (Fuck the Repubs)
  • Track 8: Senate Massacre
  • Track 9: Executive Branch Evil
  • Track 10: Harvard Hitman
  • Outro: Re-Elect a Real Nigga When You See One
  • Bonus Track: What You Mean Declined? (The Deficit’s Trying To Kill Me)

this track list was too good I had to reblog again

(Source: comfy-pillows)

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